What does one look like when they combine a fluro yellow vest, a walkie-talkie, a writing book, a pen and a whole flock of kindergarten students trailing around them?

A complete and utter dork, that's what!

Teachers should totally be given a little golf buggy to zoom around on while they're doing playground duty. On the oval, anyway. One with plenty of shelves. And extra hands, to carry things.

Perhaps the golf buggy could be equipped with high-tech binoculars that have special, inbuilt mechanisms that do all sorts of amazing things.

Like the one that "seeks out fights", another that "searches for renegade youngsters brandishing sticks", and not to mention the "finding tackling footballers that should be playing touch only" device. Impressive.

Today was also a special day, it seems. It was the first day in years that I have been attacked by those creepy flying ant insects.

I seriously have not seen one of these for I don't know how long -- Maybe it was the fluro vest, or my deoderant smell, I don't know, but I was being completely dive-bombed. Blech. I'm shuddering even now as I write this.

One more thing to add to that golf buggy.

Mosquito nets. Or "creepy-flying-ant-insect" nets. Whatever works.