Well of course I was going to blog about this. Did you doubt that for a second?

I had my dental visit.

I woke up to a lovely comment from Rob (aka Brilliant Donkey) which led me back to his wildly amusing (yet strangely calming) post about the dentist. I read that, had a chuckle (felt much better, thanks for that!) and ventured out to find this new dental surgery.

I don't remember if I wrote this? My old dental surgery had a wait-list and was not open on weekends, and I was concerned my teeth would have all fallen out by then had I waited for that appointment. So instead, I consulted the Pink Pages and found one just down the road. In the next suburb, but still marginally close. And down a road. So yeah..

I arrived there, and was greeted with a nice empty waiting room, bar one lady. A good sign.. or a bad sign? The receptionist was a young, gorgeous girl with absolutely beautiful teeth (sickening, really.) I sat myself down in the 80's style lounges (I say IN because I sunk right between the cushions) and pretended to read my Ian McEwan book. I think I was also surreptitiously looking at the other patient's teeth, trying to judge if they were better or worse than my own.

The dentist was a lovely man. He was Asian, had barely any accent and actually removed his mask to talk to me; that was nice! He had me open my mouth, and then proceeded to tell me how my teeth were the worst he'd seen in 25 years of dentistry, how could I have possibly left my teeth so foul for SO LONG?

... or not.

Okay, so perhaps I exaggerated a wee bit? My teeth weren't too bad. Needed a cleaning (well, I could have told you that!) and only two small fillings! Hoorah! I also have a previous filling that is starting to wear down, so that's going to just need touching up. Talk about a relief.

He was lovely - he explained everything he was doing, as he was doing it. He got rid of the icky tartar, polished my toofers, and put some foul tasting paste stuff on them that nearly (nearly!) had me gagging. Turns out it was fluoride paste, good for making teeth stronger or something. My teeth look a little whiter now! Or I could just be imagining it, but hey - I paid $180 for today, I'm allowed to see differences, right?

And the phantom pain in my teeth from the other day?

Er.

They were just phantom pains.

There is nothing wrong with those teeth. He even took x-rays (ha! $30 each, damnit!) and they're great. Just dandy. I may have sensitive teeth. Or my teeth might just be fucking with me. Well, he didn't actually say that. But I could tell that's what he meant.

I have an appointment Saturday fortnight to get my fillings done. I will be bankrupt by that time. Perhaps I chose the wrong career - I should have gone into dentistry.. even the thought of looking into (and touching!) people's mouths all day didn't leave me cringing.

Now, who's got one of those t-shirts?

I survived my first trip to the dentist in a few years BY MYSELF (lordy, you'd think I was 12 or something) and all I got was this lousy t-shirt! Score!