Sunday Scribblings: Instructions

How appropriate; my Year 1/2 class has been learning about procedures all term. My turn to do something different, though.

I guess there are many ways to take the "Instructions" prompt, but I'll take it as I see it. Remember - always start each step of your method with a verb, kids!

How to begin a lifestyle change, in 10 easy steps!

Things You Need;
A Mirror, Self-Consciousness, Some cash stashed away, Motivation and Enthusiasm. Or at least one of the above. But definitely the cash.

Step One;
Decide that your current efforts aren't working. Have a good cry to anyone who will listen, and decide to try something new.

Step Two;
Spot an ad on television while you are running and watching Oprah (preferably at the same time) which shows a sure-fire (and probably expensive) eating programme to help lose weight.

Step Three;
Ring the fore-mentioned company. Check out menu, food looks good, decide "What the heck?" and go for it.

Step Four;
Read out credit card numbers. Buy programme for one week trial. Feel guilty for spending, but excited for being pro-active. Anticipate the food that will be delivered.

Step Five;
Walk past womens gym that has opened in local shopping centre. Pop in, be mesmerised by the circuit course, be sucked in by the helpful store owner, and walk out - with a 12 month membership. Ka-Ching!

Step Six;
Eat healthy food. Eat normal food too. Have fun eating, and NOT being on a diet.

Step Seven;
(Optional) Attend line dancing course, jump around like a crazy woman with no co-ordination, but have a wonderful time. Win raffle - that's a free class next time! Hoorah!

Step Eight;
Dig up mother's old line dancing music, and practice sporadically at home. (Decide to teach your class at school said dances, and become tremendously excited.)

Step Nine;
Go to gym every day for training sessions. Sweat and pant and turn red.

Step Ten;
Complain about stiffness. Have lovely partner give sports massage. Fail to stop talking about being a gym member to anyone who will listen. Enjoy it!