Since I was an upset Aly yesterday, I forgot all about Idol - watched it, but didn't blog it.

But hey, better late than never, yes?

This week I thought I'd see what Idol sort-of-look-alike (but not really) dolls I could find floating around the internet. THERE ISN'T MUCH TO CHOOSE FROM PEOPLE, so go ahead and groan. The girls all look like whores, and the guy dolls all look like they're on steroids. Ohemgee!

KLANCIE the hooker.

What the HELL have the style team got to say about themselves with their styling of this poor girl? She started off alright, a wee bit over dressed for some occasions, but she does live on a farm, so give the girl a break? But the fugly hair? And skank makeup? And whore outfits? Surely anyone with half a brain wouldn't call that flattering.

Anyway. She sung Shania Twain - If You're Not In It For Love. I hardly think anyone hooking up with Klancie backstage is in it for love, if you know what I mean. I have to say, all the "trying to be sexy" hair ruffles didn't quite do it for me. Neither did her hyper little squeals, although I'm sure the audience was pumped. Or not. I think Klancie and her trashy wardrobe are out the door.

DAMIEN the leprechaun.

I have to say, I really do love the Irishman. He's just so like-able, I have no idea why. If Tomorrow Never Comes by Ronan Keating is the world's most boring song, yet I didn't throw shoes at the television when Damien sung it. That's a good sign. I want him to sing some pretty high notes again. They are hypnotic.

By the way, this doll does nothing for Damien's gangly Irish legs, and who knew he was so buff? I think he'll be safe, all the nannas (and me) think he's grand.

LAVINA who should go away, now, please.

So I only choose this doll because of the hoodie. I don't REALLY want to see Lavina wearing short shorts with matching flip flops. I did look for a daggy Adidas-wearing, tattoo branding doll, but no luck. Just think back to last week's dreadful Evanescence performance and prepare to be scared. I'd hate to run into her in a dark alley.

Anyway. Why the judges all flattered her on her outfit, I have no idea. That back camera view of her ass made me glad that I'M working out at the gym. The shirt was sort of bar-maid style, and just sort of looked.. awkward?

Don't Leave Me This Way - Just another screamy number. This is just turning into last year's Idol - but it's not rigged. Oh no, no way.

Brother CHRIS whose doll picture disturbs me.

Don't ask me why the dude is holding a gun thing. It was the only damn doll I could find that had longish hair. He's rather scary, but if you close your eyes and imagine curlier hair, a hawaiian shirt and possibly lose the gun, you might get yourself a Chris clone. Once again, or not.

Against All Odds - Phil Collins - great song, but for Idol? I didn't think he was too bad, his voice is still lovely and raspy, even on the soft notes. I think the judges were ready to pick on him from the start; no bias though, as we all know. --insert snorts here-- I still like Brother Chris. Peace out.

DEAN "oh baby, oh baby" Geyer.

Ever since I mentioned he was hot (or possibly even HOTT, as Jen would say) Jase has been giving me shit. So he's cute, yes, but he's no Jason. Although he does have good taste in music. (Jason sent me a text message last night after Dean's performance saying "Drooling yet?" - haha, funny boy.)

I was looking forward to, yet at the same time dreading, hearing Dean's performance this week. Iris by the Goos is one of my ALL-TIME FAVOURITE SONGS. If he had screwed it up, I would have voted for Lavina out of spite. But you know, for someone who isn't the BEST singer in the competition, he did a damn good job. I'm sure Johnny Rzeznik (who is MUCH hottter (with a TRIPLE t! than Dean) would have been proud. GO DEAN, I wonder if next week he'll sing some FRAY!? Haha - I would die on the spot.

MUTTO who fucked up last night.

I've been waiting for this moment all my life. Hey, isn't that another Phil Collins song? Brother Chris, are you listening? Throat condition, what the hell ever, if you audition for Idol and you have a sore throat, THAT IS TOUGH BECAUSE YOU ARE ON IDOL AND WE WILL PICK ON YOU.

I had to laugh after reading a fellow Idol Blogger's Sunday write up (read it here, funny lady she is) when she said she always gets fabulous Sing-Star scores on The Reason - Hoobastank. I said the EXACT same thing to mum, who as you well know by now, is my partner champion of Sing-Star. Hoorah! And even BETTER than him fucking it up? Wait, there is no better. Bye-bye Mutto!

JESSICA queen-of-the-touchdown.

Hee, isn't this doll pretty? What better dress to use than a white formal frock, which is what she appeared to wear yesterday. As soon as I found out she was singing Beautiful - Christina Aguilera, there was no doubt she'd get a touchdown. Damn predictability. It can bite my butt.

She was beautiful! And fabulous! And fabulously beautiful! And even though she sucked during all those pop songs in the last few week, I am once again a Jessica fan. -snort- Mark Holden looks like such a tool when he actually gives the touchdown. Perhaps we should re-name it? The Tool's-Down? Any suggestions welcomed.

BOBBY who I just typed as Booby.

Why couldn't those bastards just shut the hell up and leave poor Bobby dear alone? Perhaps he had a pet mouse that died. Perhaps he was PMS-ing. He was my kindred spirit yesterday, and I felt like beating those assholes with a large stick for trying to make him talk. Sure, spilling his guts on national TV is SURE to make him feel better. Tools! The lot of them!

The sung he chose sucked ass, and I'm worried that he might go, because I love the Bobby like I love paddlepops in summertime. Please be kind, do not vote off the UNIQUE one. He's so UNIQUE and special and he wears UNIQUE clothes and his hair is UNIQUE and you will never find anyone like him because he is UNIQUE. He has UNIQUE emotions too, fuckers, so leave him alone!
RICKY the wide-mouthed tree frog.

So, I much preferred Ricky when he was displaying his insanely psychotic and completely terrifying facial expressions. Last night was so boring that I don't even want to talk about it.

Don't.
Want.
To.
Talk.

Nothing to see here folks, moving right along.

Piss off LISA, you're boring.

Lucky she chose that song (A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton), seeing as it's probably kept her in Idol this year (dangnabbit!). Funny, though. Vanessa Carlton is boring. Lisa Mitchell is boring. Are we seeing a trend?

Her voice which once soothed my cranky soul, is now sounding more and more whiny and annoying with every coming week. She is dull, the obvious favouritism with the judges makes me want to vomit, and I just don't like her. Go away and ride a pony into the sunset or something. A thousand miles away, would be nice.

Who will stay? Who will go? You'll find out in less than two hours. Riveted, I'm sure.

The VERDICT

Klancie was all skanked up, but she's outta here. Yee-haw! We have a ho-down! I repeat, a ho-down!

AND IF YOU ALL DON'T VOTE FOR DEAN NEXT WEEK I'M GOING TO HUNT YOU DOWN AND SINGSTAR YOU UNTIL YOUR EARS FALL OFF.