Er, I'm not creative enough to put up a new blog header, but I did manage to spend five seconds in MS paint and come up with this beauty. Marvel at my artistic talents, yo.

Right. Now that's done, let's get on with the searches. This is swiftly becoming my favourite day of the week.

Catching contagious illnesses when eating in restaurants.

I don't have much expertise in that area, I'm only good at catching contagious illnesses when out at Evanescence concerts. Sorry about that.

Dean Geyer is hot.

I bet the majority of blog readers here now have absolutely NO idea who Dean Geyer is. Let me refresh your memories in one sentence; non-winner of Australian Idol last year, hot, HOT, did flips on stage, and did I mention hot? Yes. That's right.

Harry Potter - Who was puking?

Um. Let's see. There was that part in one of the books where Ron starts puking/burping up slugs? Or perhaps you were puking after seeing HP/Daniel Radcliffe posing with his bits hanging out in front of a poor horse? (Beware: Nudity!) Hmm.

Bad Haircuts.

My current hair is plain old horrid ever since the chop of death last December. In over two months, it's not yet even close to looking how it was. Stupid hairdresser. I hope she gets a really dodgy cut herself one day.. karma, y'know. Makes me wonder what this person was searching for though; whether they were SEARCHING for a bad haircut style or whether they were looking for other people's horrible cuts to make them feel better?

Please explain "Chasing Cars".

Other than it (once) being a catchy tune that I heard from Grey's Anatomy, I don't know much about the song - other than that it has lovely lyrics that I adore. Perhaps going here will find the answers to your question.

Heavy feeling in chest.

I recommend you seek the advice of Dr. Google in this situation. He'll either diagnose you with some foreign disease that sounds scary, or he'll tell you it's nothing. Or maybe you're just feeling sad? Or you left your free weights sitting on your chest again? Silly duffer.

Walk this way, it's Red Nose Day.

It is? But I've had a red nose since Wednesday? Crazy. But I wouldn't advise you to walk this way, I might still be contagious. I'd walk the other way, just to be safe. Or you could walk THIS way and check out some information about and English charity event that's apparently coming up.

Eye Candy.

Well, I'm flattered. No, really! I didn't realise you felt that way! Pasty faces, bags under the eyes and red noses must be the "in thing" on the catwalks these days. Fantastic. Would you like some eye candy? How about this? Or this? Some more?

Rebel Sport won't return my shoes.

Well. I dislike Rebel Sport very much, since they are horrible and rude and made returning a pair of faulty shoes bloody difficult. Oh, and I also had my car accident last year in the car park returning to deal with one of their incompetent stores, so I am a little biased. How about you just throw your shoes at their heads?

Redneck woman squishing mice.

My secret is out, bloody hell. That's me alright; I'm a redneck woman who runs around squishing mice. Seriously. When the heck have I ever mentioned redneck women in this blog? Other than my line-dancing mum of course, who is lovely and really not a redneck at all. She just sings about them. Loudly and slightly off key. With an American twang. Hee. Love you!

Throat closed off, Coughing, Hard to Breathe.

Face masks at the ready. It sounds like you've caught the great Goth Bug of 07. Be prepared for two weeks of feeling like crud!

He tells me things without speaking.

This is probably very innocent, but it sounds a wee bit creepy. I think I've been watching too many X-Files episodes. Now I'm all paranoid and looking over my shoulder and stuff. Eep.

I hate Ticketek.

I wondered when I had mentioned Ticketek, but when I searched this myself, my dear old blog comes up in the first page. That's right! Ticketek was acting like a turd and made me miss out on John Mayer tickets last year. Luckily Kirby is a legend, and we are going together this April. I AM SO EXCITED. I wonder if Jessica Simpson will be there? She has pretty teeth. Right, going off topic. I don't like Ticketek either.

Explicit Lyrics.

Except for the couple of people who come here looking for the "Throw Some D's on that, Bitch!" song, I'm claiming ignorance to this one. Oh. Oh! But I have recently discovered Lily Allen, and she has some great lyrics. Bonus; they also contain the EFF word!

First Topless Candycorn Shoot.

What. The. Heck. That's all I've got.

Gavin DeGraw's Stupid Hat.

Now I feel like I just HAVE to Google this, because I'd love to know what his stupid hat looks like. Is it this stupid hat? Or this one? Holy crap, he has LOTS of stupid hats. Wow! So which one was it?

Sexy Shoe Bitches.

Hey Lara, I think he's talking about you and I and our sassy December shoe blogging month. Whee.

Temperamental Tantrums in Children.

I've really only seen ONE huge tantrum thrower, and that was the little boy in my class last year. He's also in my class this year but fingers crossed, I've not seen much attitude this year. Apparently I used to throw good tantrums too, when I was a young'un.

Boring Playground Duties.

Belinda, are you reading this? People think playground duties are BORING? Never! Actually, I think we should bring this up at the next staff meeting in case it was one of our teachers that was searching for this. Let's see, what entertainment could we get in place? Perhaps we could get some juggling clowns following us around to make the duties more entertaining. Or live music? Dancing? Balloons? Any other ideas?

Teacher Dealing with Vomit in Class.

They don't teach you how to deal with THAT at university, do they? My advice? Get the kidlet to sickbay straight away so if they puke again, it isn't on your floor. And then bring on the non-smelly powder carpet cleaner stuff (isn't that useful?) and the air fresheners. Or maybe just do PE lessons outside for the rest of the day until the gross factor has settled down?

Converse Sneakers Trampled Me.

You poor blossom! Come here, let me hug you. That sounds terrible! Were you at an Evanescence concert when it happened? I hear there are Chucks a-plenty in those places. You've got to watch them. They get mischievous when they're in numbers.


Until next Sunday... Happy Googling!