I'm learning to love my random Google-age; not only does it give me a good laugh at how people are stumbling across my part of the internet, but it also gives me something to blog about on this not-so-interesting Sunday. What a perfect combination!

Whack a Goldfish
Strangely enough I don't even own a goldfish, let alone have time to 'whack' one. I'm not quite sure what context the word 'whack' is being used in here - is it 'whack' as in hit? Or 'whack' in Mafia terms, i.e: "I'ma go and whack Joey's brother." Who knows? Rest assured, no goldfish were harmed in the making of this blog.

Y'all Come Back Now
Did you know that for the longest time, I was saying this the wrong way, more like ya'll. Thankfully, Southern Belle Miss Sassy told me the correct way. Y'all! Now I can pretend to be American the RIGHT way.

Heavy Chest Diagnosis
I think I need to go to medical school and get my doctors licence, because darned if I'm not THE place to come to for diagnostic advice. Perhaps I could earn a little extra moolah on the side, too?

Whistling "The Ants Go Marching" While At Work
In my line of work, there is absolutely nothing wrong with whistling this little diddy at work. Of course, in my line of work we also sing songs about bunky-bunky elephants and purple-people eaters, so that's not really saying much. Perhaps you could update your Ipod with other distracting kids songs, for a bit of extra variety you know?

Wandering the Streets
.. In a world underneath it all. Isn't that a song lyric? Aha! It is from Teddy Geiger's song which I should secretly mention that I have on my Itunes. Ho-Hum. If you are wandering the streets, I hope you are wearing a sturdy pair of shoes. That is all.

Big Labradors
Squee! Part of my good news from yesterday, is that in approximately 3 years (give or take) I will be the proud momma of two labradors. Make sense? No? That's okay. But one of them will be called Jack. I'll get back to you on the other. Random, random.

Barefoot Spanking
Sigh. Here we go again. I'm almost tempted to Google this myself and link to a couple of damn pages for the wannabe-spankers out there, but I'm too scared of what I'll actually find. Maybe next week, if I'm in the right mood. (Is there a right mood for that?)

What is in John Mayer's top?
Wouldn't I like to know? April, I am seeing Mr Mayer in concert in April. I'll try and peek down his top for you if I can, even though we'll be a bajillion seats away from him. It's okay. He shall link eyes with me from the stage and sparks shall fly and we shall run away together, and THEN I'll tell you what is in his top. Promise.

Sneeze and Mucus Nose Pictures
ACCCCK. Alright, so I understand the whole spanking pictures fantasy, but pictures of snot? Am lost and suitably disgusted. These gems might interest you, though. Great party trick.

Girls Swimming in Their Underwear
Did Typepad rate my blog Adults-Only or something? Because unless I am posting secret adult messages in my sleep, I really am at a loss for these ones. But with all these random visitors, you'd think they at least comment once in a while? Am feeling neglected!

Bloody Annoying Lyrics
Okay, since we're back to seeking my advice, I feel obliged to help out here. I have to say, I think the most annoying lyrics I can think of right now are from that "Wish I was a punk rocker" song by Sandi Thom. Bloody annoying indeed. Someone should just clobber her over the head with a guitar or something. I also don't like lyrics that don't make sense; i.e. Justin Timberlake's newest song - "When you cheated girl, my heart bleeded girl." Alright JT. I realise you've suddenly become appealing out of nowhere, and that you've brought the sexy back, but BLEEDED is not a word! The bad grammar! My eyes! It burns!

The Use of Chalkboards in Primary School
I was all excited when I walked into the classroom last year and saw a chalkboard. For some reason, I write much neater on them than I do on whiteboards. Luckily, the classroom I was moved into this year still has an old chalkboard, so I'm happy again for now. Apparently they're planning on getting rid of all the chalkboards due to allergies and mess and what-not, but I think it's a secret ploy to have whiteboards take over the world. You heard it here first.

Dancing the Jitterbug
Well, my dancing is limited to the Hokey Pokey, the Mexican Hat Dance, Heel and Toe, the Macarena and the Nutbush (as well as some Hi-5 songs, thanks to Mrs H!) so I'm just going to forward any technical questions to our resident dancer. They're all yours, Lara.

Stupid Hats

If you want to see a picture of Gavin Degraw and his abundance of stupid hats, you're in the right place. He has an awful lot of them, actually. However, if you would like to see little old ME wearing a stupid hat, just look to your left. (Feel free to enlarge the cuteness for your viewing pleasure.)

Cleavage Cupcakes
I had to take the bait on this subject header, and consult the Googlemachine myself. Apparently THESE are cleavage cupcakes. Plain ol' jelly boobs or chicken fillets, as my friend once called them. And here was me thinking they were real live cupcakes squished down into your bosom. Bummer!

Panadol Makes My Eyes Swollen
Those cheeky doctors, recommending Panadol all the time! If I were you, um, I would stop taking it. Try a Nurofen instead?

Isn't She Perfect?
She sure is! Absolutely perfect! Yep. Wait, who are we talking about?

Hugest Ass
Well friend, you've come to the right place. My butt(s) and I welcome you to this peaceful place. Pull up a chair and make yourself at home.

Trendy Clothing for 20 Year Olds
Oh dear, this is possibly the most misleading search result EVER. Didn't you catch my latest admission; I'm actually a huge dork. And sadly, that also means that I am the least trendy 20-something that I know. The trendiest outfit I own would consist of jeans, a top and most likely a pair of thongs. Am a dag, but a comfy one at that. Sorry!

Stomping Boots
This pair o'boots look like they might suit your needs..?

Roll Over
Good dog!

Why Can't A Person Do A Workout When They Cough?
I've been asking myself this for the past two bloody weeks; ever since I caught the Goth Bug 07, I've been unable to walk more than about 10 minutes on the treadmill without feeling like I'm going to fall off it. So as for my answer: They can't workout because they're sick? (For me, coughing on the treadmill means forgetting to pay attention to my feet, which equals losing my footing, stacking it in a spectacular way, and eventually death by exercise equipment. Not pretty.)

Until next Sunday, happy Google-age!