Sunday Google-age Round 6 (And MORE!)

So firstly, I have to say that yes -- there WAS once an African Lion Safari out my way, because I concede defeat and am not a sore loser. (Although I did hear Minchinbury used in conversation last night, not Warragamba. Dork!)

Now that I have completely lost most of you, I'd just like to say that Lala and Mick are lovely. Nothing like making an arse of yourself the first time you meet people (thankyou, my Sacred Hill Reisling, thankyouverymuch.) It was a lovely evening, with lovely company and 33 lovely bats too. Yes, I was counting them. Don't you count bats? Lovely is my word of the day today.

(Not so lovely is the part where I fell down in Jason's driveway and ended up with a lumpy head. Poor, poor Jason.)

Also, thanks to a very special Anonymous Teacher, this here blog has had it's 2000th comment! 2000! Howzat? Bloody fabulous, is what it is. Angela, I'm absolutely leaving your double post in because I refuse to slip under that magical number, so a big thanks to you too. Nothing wrong with a little cheating, here and there.

The end of this month is also my first bloggiversary, which is a wee bit special if you're a dork like I am. Cannot believe it is April.

What better way to celebrate than by making fun of checking in on who visited this week. It's been a good week blog-wise, I've discovered a couple more bloggers that I'll be adding to my Stalkeriffic Blogs sidebar very soon. Can't wait.

I Hate Ticketek
Do you? I do, too. Why do we have to PAY for bands anyway? Why isn't it free? And why the hell is America getting a tour with two of my all-time favourite bands, and NOT bringing it to Australia. That's what I'd like to know. You suck, Ticketek. You've let me down.

Southern America Contiki Tour
The trip I plan on doing next year! Actually, I'm looking at doing the Grand Northern tour AND the Grand Southern tour, so I can see as much as I can.

Dags
I am one. Even more-so when I am drinking. Embarrassing!

I'm lonely and I think I'll never meet "the one"
Oh darling, I think you need a hug. I know that feeling. But sometimes, you can still feel lonely even when you know you've met "the one". Am I alone thinking that?

I'm not paranoid
Good for you! There's nothing to be paranoid about. (Shifty eyes) There's no-one behind your shoulder. And they're definitely not talking about you. Nosir.

Riddles for Primary Kids
Here's one: How many hours does it a take a primary school teacher who hasn't drunk since her Contiki tour, to digest the previous night's beverages and feel chipper again?

Problems swallowing, pulled muscle
That doesn't sound very pleasant, but I have to ask: Which muscle did you pull and more importantly, how did you pull it?

I sprained my ankle
Have a cookie.

Teddy Geiger shirtless pictures
Google's let me down here, too. Maybe you could ask the chick that went to primary school with Teddy Geiger - perhaps she has a stash hidden away somewhere that she could get out for you.

Spotty Arms
I would love to have smooth, spot-free arms. They never go away, no matter what product I use on them. I blame my dad for them. If you figure out the remedy, please let me know.

My skin goes red and splotchy in the sunlight
Perhaps you are a vampire?

I love toe sucking
Toe sucking at weddings
Red Toes are Nice
Sounds like you've got to be very careful about what sort of guests you should invite to your weddings these days.

Bahahaha!
Someone's stolen my word and I'm pissed off. Back off, fools.

Bedtime stories for Primary age kids
I intend on reading my kids any book I can get my hands on. A good variety is the best trick, so they don't get bored with reading. I'd probably stay away from the Mills and Boon romance novels though; I'm just saying.

Death on a Shotover Jet
I could NOT believe that out of all the adventure things we did whilst on Contiki, (the AJ Hackett bungy, skydiving, canyon swinging, white water rafting, river boarding - and yes, I am bragging because I am BRAVE!) the only death that has been recorded was on the Shotover Jet boats. Can you believe jumping over a bloody 209 metre canyon is safer than being a passenger in a boat? Insane!

I'm a Teacher
Me, too. Let's be friends.

Constant Pain in Chest while Burping
Lay off the fizzy drinks for a while, alright?

My Mazda MX5 has a Mouldy Roof
Does it smell like cheese? I like cheese.

Random Highways
I still need some takers for my road trip to nowhere. And yes, there will be random highways involved.

Can you squish bugs with flat shoes?
Baby, you can squish bugs with any shoes. Did you know cockroaches actually POP when you step on them? (shudder)

Headaches at Parent Teacher Interviews
Yep. Sounds about right.

Having Sex on Contiki
This seems to be the question of the month. YES! Alright. Go and have sex on Contiki. I just hope your room-mates don't mind.

Pale Skin
Welcome to my world (heaving a dramatic sigh right about now.) I have this one brown spot around my neck and shoulders from my horrible sunburn last year, which Jason likes to tease me about - brown, white, brown, white!


Floating Heads
Sounds like a nifty band name. The Floating Heads. I like it!

Lightning Rod of Hate
I figure I'm doing my bit for the blogging community by offering my services as a Lightning Rod of Hate. I'll take in all the bad bits and spit them out again. Feel free to use me at any time.

Dainty Sneezes
Well, you certainly aren't talking about my sneezes then. Mine tend to sneak up on me out of nowhere, resulting in a screech-sneeze. Scares the crap out of the kidlets.

Am I really losing my brain?
Your brain and my brain are probably living it up on a beach with cocktails somewhere.

How round should your penis be at the age of 18?
Um, perhaps I missed a class or two in health when I was younger, but round? That doesn't sound right. Oh, wait, round. Gotcha. I'm seeking the advice of any male bloggers out there; help your fellow man and answer this question, would you?

Teeth fillings needed filing down
Oh, that is the worst feeling. Go back and get it fixed before you wear your tongue away from rubbing against it. Right now!

Donut Wedding Cakes
(mumbles something bitter under breath) Alright, I have to say it. Donut wedding cakes are cheap and nasty and really, what's so bad with being traditional and baking a real damn cake. No-one wants to eat donuts at a wedding! They want chocolate, or fruit cake, something you can cut with a knife, for heaven's sake. BUY A DAMN CAKE.

Video of Woman Retching
EW. Why would anyone bring that up when I'm feeling queasy from the night before. You guys are plain mean.

Would a Holiday in the sun help Glandular Fever?
A holiday in the sun would help just about anything. Take me with you!

Ass Self-Spankers
For some reason, I don't think self-spanking would have quite the same effect as er, the other. Oh, what the hell would I know about this anyway? All these searches, you'd think I would be an expert at this kinky stuff.

Baby Emu Puke
What the hell? Who googles this anyway?

I've Lost My Undies
Let's backtrack here; where did you wear them last? What were you doing, and who were you with? Did you wear them at all? I do hope you've got some spares at home.