Tuesday, 28 August 2007

Correspondence to a Canteen.

Dear School Canteen,

Let me begin by thanking you for providing me with lots of fantastically fattening meals in the past, and for helping me fill up many a lunchtime with me stuffing my face. You also contributed to my fat stores, which have helped to keep me insulated over the winter months. I suppose I should thankyou for that, even if I am going through hell to try and remove it all from my midsection now.

We've had a pretty good relationship, you and I. Even if I have taken to avoiding walking past you, for fear of binging on chocolate milk and chicken nuggets. We get along fairly well. But I have to ask you to please . . . PLEASE, for the love of all things healthy, stop making your garlic scented chicken and rice stir-fries waft through my classroom door. It smells divine, while plastic wrap really does not.

You're making my cheese sandwich look a trifle miserable in comparison. Please cease yummy smells immediately, if you would be so kind.

Yours in nutrition,

Aly.
at

21 comments:

  1. Kristabella28 August 2007 at 23:00

    This is exactly whay I'm glad our cafeteria is in the NEXT building.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kristabella28 August 2007 at 23:01

    And this is the second day in a row I have had a misspelling in my comment.

    And I'm not even drunk. Sadly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lindsey28 August 2007 at 23:20

    Don't you just hate when things like that happen? I work in a retirement community and if I'm near the dining room during lunch time, I have insta-hunger!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Aimee28 August 2007 at 23:59

    good for you for abstaining! hehe

    ReplyDelete
  5. janet29 August 2007 at 00:44

    I am kinda dumb. I thought a canteen was a water bottle. Is this yet another global miscommunication of the Queen's English?!?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jen29 August 2007 at 01:09

    I know how you feel, my nutella sandwich just doesn't cut it.

    I'm so glad the lunch order of choice in the staff room is a chicken salad. So once I get there, away from the nuggets, pizzas and lasagnas I'm safe.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nathan Pralle29 August 2007 at 01:11

    For the same reason, all McDonald's restaurants should be stripped of their gorgeous, crispy, tastetastic fries. Heathens!

    ReplyDelete
  8. heidikins29 August 2007 at 02:23

    Firstly: Dear Jen, you have Nutella sandwiches?!? That's freaking brilliant!

    Secondly: Dear Aly, I am in full supportment of your concerned correspondence to your employer. I'm sure there's some sort of law-suit in there, and I would totally vote for you. ;o)

    xox

    ReplyDelete
  9. Julz29 August 2007 at 03:12

    gees, since when did canteens have garlic scented chicken and rice stir fry? :( all we had were pies, chips, potato cakes, sandwiches etc...nothing special.

    ReplyDelete
  10. kirby29 August 2007 at 04:35

    my counsellor put me on a siliac's (sp?) diet to see if it altered my mood.. I'd get so mad because Kristie and Ana that I worked with were both toothpicks and would always go and get steak sandwiches and all sorts of wonderment contained in a meal, and I'd have to eat fruit pieces that had been soaking in their own juices for too long. Sucked.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Belinda29 August 2007 at 07:25

    today I stopped buying Noodles, when M asked why I said I am on a diet....M said "miss S has lost a lot of weight ...she look good"!!! but YES the smell is divine!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Noelle29 August 2007 at 08:49

    I hate food that smells better than it tastes, because I always end up eating the whole thing anyway. Also, I too was confused by the use of the word "canteen" in a non-water bottle context. I think I may have just learned something new.

    ReplyDelete
  13. elise29 August 2007 at 10:14

    Dear Alyndabear,

    EAT MY YUMMY FOOD. EAT IT NOW. MY FOOD IS AWESOME, AND THE MORE YOU RESIST, THE MORE AWESOME I WILL BECOME.



    Love,
    THE CANTEEN

    ReplyDelete
  14. Laurel29 August 2007 at 10:19

    School food is delicious??? I wish I grew up in Australia!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Virginia Gal29 August 2007 at 10:34

    I always thought one of the better perks when I was working for a private school was eating the school lunch without having to pay for it. But my office was far enough away that I didn't have to suffer through yummy food smells while feeling hungry.

    I'm sure you are familiar with the school (buildings at least) - since both "Toy Soldiers" and "Major Payne" had large sections filmed on the grounds (but before my time working there).

    ReplyDelete
  16. -R-29 August 2007 at 11:10

    Your sign-off, "Yours in Nutrition," cracked me up.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Chiada29 August 2007 at 11:48

    It's amazing how the power of smell can affect us so much. Even the power of suggestion: last week when we were talking about (or I was talking about) not eating burger and fries and soda, that's exactly what I went and had for lunch. Because it sounded so good! I should have just not even mentioned it and then maybe I would have avoided it. (Maybe.)

    ReplyDelete
  18. minijonb29 August 2007 at 13:06

    something divine smelling in a canteen? whoda thunk it?
    all i smell in our cafeteria is grease...
    deep fried grease with extra greasy grease on top.
    ...i think i'll go get some.

    ReplyDelete
  19. kerrianne29 August 2007 at 14:10

    I don't know; I would be hard pressed to relinquish cheese anything. ; )

    (Happy! Tuesday.)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Viviane29 August 2007 at 21:18

    Haha, that is absolutely evil of them. :p Glad I don't have to smell yummy food all day!

    ReplyDelete
  21. LaLa30 August 2007 at 05:50

    Am I going crazy, I could have sworn that it said banana sandwich before? xx

    ReplyDelete

Spare a thought?