When I am asked what I notice first about the opposite sex, I have a couple of staple answers: I look at their eyes, to see if they are friendly. I look at their smile, to see what makes them laugh. I look at their butt, because . . . well, why not? But I've come to realise that I almost always leave a certain something off my reply list, even though it's a pretty darned important one.
I'm talking about their shoes.
I think that I'm fairly fussy when it comes to shoes. I used to work in a shoe store when I was at university and once upon a time I owned a fairly large collection of shoes. I happen to know there are some really ugly shoes out there, and so I can't help my eyes wandering to people's feet from time to time.
The first time I met Jason, I wasn't sure what to expect. For those who don't know, we were introduced randomly online, and despite chatting for months I had never seen a photo of him. Why not? I don't know. Maybe because I wasn't actively looking to find a partner on the internet, so I never thought to ask what he looked like. Besides, I developed a good old fashioned crush on him through his words, and not based on his looks. How many people can say that about their significant others? How we met is a story for another day, though. Let me backtrack to my first impressions.
As you may have expected, one of the first things I looked at were his shoes. Because honestly, most guys don't think much of their shoes - not as much as we ladies do anyway, I would hinge a bet. Luckily, Jason passed the test. He was wearing a pair of brown Colorado boat shoes, ones I recognised from my retail days. They're nice shoes that look very stylish under jeans or pants, all men should own a pair just like it. [Jumps off soapbox.] Jason finds my shoe fascination very amusing, but seriously; if he had been wearing a pair of scruffy, ugly shoes on our first date? I don't know what I would have done. Ack.
So, let me put the age old question on to you: What thing/things do you notice first when you're randomly meeting a person of opposing gender to yourself. What is it that makes you check those things out first? I don't have many male readers, but I'm very interested to see what you have to say!
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I look at their hair. If a guy has greasy, overgrown hair, how is he going to be able to look after anything else? Because washing your hair and keeping it nice isn't really rocket science. :P
Oh and also, I CAN say I fell in love with Phill through his words - although we'd gone to the same primary school for a couple of years, but didn't really know each other, we were introduced online about five years later, and chatted for a couple of months before meeting. I think words are a strong foundation for a strong relationship. :)
Overall impression first. Are you well dressed? I am not a huge fan of t-shirts. Some guys can pull it off, but most should stick to polos or button downs.
Next: Wedding ring? If a boy is married, well...
Lastly: Hygiene. Are you remotely smelly? Unshaven? Greasy hair? What sort've style do you apply to your hygienic issues?
That's it, as far I can think of... For the first sweep and judgy moments.
I love boat shoes.. I talked the other half into buying a pair.. :)
Hair is a big one for me. If they have that floppy Hugh Grant hair, I'm sold. :)
Snoskred
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I'm so happy that I've would up at a school that allows me to wear flip-flops. I don't know what I would have done if I had to wear shoes every day.
Skin. Nothing better than a girl with nice skin and i don't mean it has to be spotless perfection. It just has to look nice.
Clothes. A girl can be wearing some really expensive stuff or the latest fashion but if it isn't what suits her, it looks terrible even if she is hot.
Holding a conversation with a girl is always good but let's be honest, we malefolk are going to just shake our heads at most of your conversations in befuddlement, so sense of humour that clicks with your own is a must.
hahaha I look at shoes too!!! but not to see whether they're nice or not persay, but more to see if their shoes suit their general fashion sense.
Hands (not because of wedding rings lots of marrieds don’t wear them & it’s no indications that he has a girlfriend) more to do with if he works with them or bites his nails, arms (I like hugs) then eyes & smile I like the eyes to reflect the smile, some guys have cold eyes they smile but not with they’re eyes, which gives me the creeps.
Funnily enough this kinda works for girls too but not quite the same way. If you know what I mean.
Shoes are also good but that’s more like the second date! LOL.
*G*
Oh my goodness...Colorados...I know how you love those!! It was meant to be!
I always look at smile first, then eyes. Then maybe hair. But THEN: shoes! They are definitely important. They're windows to a man's fashion sense. :)
I think I'm all about the hair. I haven't thought about it in so long.
I wouldn't say I look for it, but I've only really crushed on guys with dimples. I love them. (AS has dimples so deep you can poke your finger in them. And I do.)
But I guess I notice clothes first. Inept male dressing isn't necessarily a deal breaker (if it was, I wouldn't be dating AS), but I do notice and evaluate it first.
I'm about eyebrows and teeth... Man, that makes it sound like I shopped for a horse or something.
The first thing? Their ring finger. Because most guys my age are usually married.
I like eyes and teeth and smile.
But I'm with you on shoes. I can think of 2-3 dates where I was not digging the shoes at all.
But I'm like Seinfeld with my crazy deal breakers.
Definitely eyes, but after the eyes pass, I'm going straight for the jeans. Are they acid-wash? Are they tapered-leg? Are they high-rise? If they are, I am OUTTA here!
Well, maybe not OUT...but definitely wary :)
When I first meet someone, I just notice their general overall appearance. Then I notice their face: eyes, smile, nose, etc. Then I notice their clothes. I don't think I've ever looked at shoes on purpose. Last week I met a business associate for the first time, and I noticed his pale blue polo, nice pressed dark jeans, haircut, friendly face, and nice arms. Sortof in that order because I saw him coming into the office through the front windows and it was easiest to see the clothes before the details of his face came nearer.
First thing is overall grooming. After that, it's all about if they can make me laugh. But it's true: pretty shoes or shitty shoes - they tell you a lot about a person.
I think normally I notice overall appearance first -- how he's dressed, what his hair looks like, etc. But when I first met Nick, we were at school living on the same dorm floor. We just had our first floor meeting, and Nick was getting ready to go play basketball afterwards. I remember him showing up late, wearing scrubby clothes and sitting on his basketball next to the doorway. And I still talked to him afterwards. Who would have thought?
Ok, a little male perspective: Not to sound typical, but we really do check out all the things that make you distinctly female first, which usually consists of curves and breasts. We males are so incredibly sight-driven that it's just second nature to do that glance first. However, that's not the end-all, be-all in our evaluation, so don't get hung up on it. After that, I usually take in the overall appearance, are they well-dressed, do things fit, do the colors match her skin/hair? Is she dressed in a 'neat' and orderly way, or haphazard? Eyes are next, if I can see them, which includes the face. Does she look pleasant or a bitch? How does she hold herself, is she timid, outgoing, snooty, etc. Then we get down to other things...hands, etc. But that's first glances.
I'm totally withh you, on all accounts. Eyes, Smile, Derrierre and Shoes...
I knew there was a reason we were friends. :o)
xox
I always start with their appearance... have they at least made a little effort, or do they appear to have stumbled out of the house and grabbed last weeks festy t-shirt off the floor? ARE THEY WEARING SKINNY JEANS? if yes, stop here, proceed to next male specimen.
Once I've established he does have some form of showering routine, then I'll pay attention to such things as...is his butt bigger than mine? is his hair longer than mine? (again, if so, proceed to next specimen), just how broad are his shoulders, and ohmy what attractive arms you have.
probably nothing. unless you're really good looking, I mean SUPER good looking; I'm not going to notice you until I've heard what you have to say. Though I must admit that certain fashion statements may make me less likely to listen to you...ascots, mullets, gold jewelry, and the like...
I notice eyes and TEETH.
Seriously.
TEETH.
I know I am such a weirdo.
I tend to notice hair (head and facial) and clothes. If both appear well-groomed, we're A-OK. If either is looking to be a bit on the white trash side...all bets are off.
Hands!!!! I see hands first. I love manly hands. No short fingers for me... no- REALLY! But more importantly, I'm looking at fingernails. I am absolutely grossed out by LONG fingernails on guys. EW!!
And shoes. I feel you on the shoes!
probably nothing. unless you’re really good looking, I mean SUPER good looking; I’m not going to notice you until I’ve heard what you have to say. Though I must admit that certain fashion statements may make me less likely to listen to you…ascots, mullets, gold jewelry, and the like
I’m so happy that I’ve would up at a school that allows me to wear flip-flops. I don’t know what I would have done if I had to wear shoes every day.
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