Ladies & Gentlemen, after a rather long hiatus, I'm proud to have finally gotten around to gathering some Sunday Google-age for you! (And I know, I know, it's Monday. But surely it's still Sunday in some part of the world, no?)
Feel free to cheer. Just let it all out. Go on. You know you want to.
What is Google-age?
I suppose I had better explain myself before I begin, lest new readers think I'm insane. Well, this is Google-age. You’re reading it, pal! Since my visitors usually end up here through searches, Google-age is a fun little wordplay that I do every so often. It rolls off the tongue well, what can I say?
Sweet Lovely Words for Birthday
Oh, Oh! I know this one! How about.. happy birthday? Or you could spice it up a bit, and turn it into a happy birthday lovely! Very sweet.
Brandon Boyd Touching
Wouldn't you want to touch him too, seeing this photo? (I was looking for the sassy picture of dear Brandon wearing a pirate hat and not much else, but sadly couldn't find it. What is this world coming to?)
School Assembly Items
Sadly I'm not much help with this one, because I can't even figure out what to do with my kidlets for their end of year performance. It doesn't help when you have a class of 16, and most of them won't even turn up on the night .. gah. How about we just do the Macarena?
I'm a Noun Tshirt
I love this shirt. Although it caused much confusion in my household.
Loch Ness Tshirt
I love this shirt too. Has a cute squid thing. Threadless is awesome.
Awesome Scrabble Shirt
I also love (and own) this shirt. I'm a wee bit addicted to slogan tees.
One Size Shirts
I have a thing with one size fits all ... because that usually guarantees that it won't fit me. Or it fits, but leaves you with icky back fat. Or gut fat. Or squished boobs. And squished boobs are good for no-one involved.
Colorblind Shirt Humor
Wouldn't you know it? I have just the shirt for you. Woo!
Aly
That's my name, don't wear it out. If you say it three times while looking in a mirror, absolutely nothing will happen to you. Go on, give it a try.
Foot Lick
I suppose when you have an entire month dedicated to your shoes, you're bound to get some crazies who want to lick your feet, right?
Feet Women
Yes, most women have feet. Be a little hard to walk without them.
Office Feet
Am guessing office feet are the same as, er, non-office feet, just with prettier and more fancy shoes?
Sucking the Teachers Toes
I don't have office feet. I have classroom feet. And I have to admit that all this talk of feet is starting to gross me out.
Smelly Thong
I'm putting this in with the feet searches, because for the last time, thongs are footwear! Not undies that disappear up your butt! Although when you think about it, either of them being smelly is sort of disgusting.
Contemplate the Consequences of my Actions
Very deep thinking there. I should do that more often; I could start with contemplating the consequences that polishing off a block of lemon cheesecake chocolate will have on my stomach.
If I was Tempted I Would Run
Yes, yes, I should've run away from the chocolate. I know. I know.
Reshape Lose Bum Gain Boobs
Wouldn't this be grand? We'd all look like Barbies. I'd like to reshape too, but mine would be something like Lose Gut, Gain Muscles. I'm quite happy with my boobs just the way they are.
I Fantasize Snuggling with a Girl
That's a very sweet fantasy, if you ask me. Some people prefer fantasizing about slightly dirtier things, though ...
Self-spanking Equipment
... Like self-spanking equipment! [wolf whistles] Naughty!
Blog Review
I had my blog reviewed a few months ago with not so wonderful results. In fact, it blew me away to read what she thought of me & my writing. Not so positive. Am still slightly scarred, actually. Rather depressing. Blargh.
Cut My Hair Short
I have issues with hair dressers, especially after the haircut of death. I didn't want my hair cut short, but that's what I got.
Mandy Moore's Hairstyles
She looks pretty hot with short hair though, even if it does look like she is sort of straddling a pole in the last picture.
Point the Finger
Speaking of fingers, someone needs to point theirs in the general direction of my treadmill downstairs, as that's where I should be right now instead of sitting on my arse writing this blog post. I am interested in who they're pointing their finger at though ...
Idiots Merging Lanes
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's drivers who shouldn't be out on the road. And sadly, merging lanes usually bring out the morons in packs. Put your indicator on early, stop edging in so close to my damn car and please, please just give me a thankyou wave. How hard is it to wave?
So Sexy
Now that's the kind of compliment a girl wants in the morning, thanks!
Pants Down
Perhaps you ought to invest in a nice, sturdy belt?
Red Padlock dvd Case
Oh no! The dreaded magnetically locked case! If you've got a red padlock showing on your dvd, it means the store hasn't de-magnetified (ha) it, and it won't open. You have two options here; take it back and have them open it for you, or get a kitchen knife and hack at the case until it opens. (It works, but it left my Gilmore Girls Season 3 set looking a little mangled.)
Bermuda Triangle History
Hmm, let's see. Big chunk of ocean, mysterious disappearances, spooky spooky. You can read about it here. Also a ride at Sea World.
Skirt Hike Moan Classroom
I may wear skirts from time to time, but I definitely don't hike in my classroom. And I can assure you that the only moaning comes from the kidlets when I make them write. And write. And write some more.
Met Lifehouse
Geez, way to rub it in. I'd settle to even get to see the band live, and you're meeting them? Bah humbug, you are mean.
Contiki Grand Southern
Squeeeeee, I'm so glad you brought this up. I don't think anyone realises just how freaking excited I am about getting to do my great American tour of '08. I'm excited! Super excited! Want to go now! NOW.
Contiki Cheating
Oh, I can assure you there will be no cheating on Contiki. Well, no doubt there will be some flings (there always are..) but I will not be involved. The only flings I will be having will be with my stalkerees.
Exotic Wedding Cakes
I don't know about exotic wedding cakes, but how about ...
Doughnut Wedding Cakes
... A doughnut wedding cake! Very sweet, and only slightly creepy.
Ding Dong Dang
It's a karaoke bar! I've taken pictures of it, but never been game enough to go there. My singing doesn't go further than my living room, or my car.
Pale Skin
My skin is not just pale, it's reflective. Whiter than a ghost.
Rabbit Dude
Instead of calling myself the Rabbit Whisperer, I think I'll stick with the Rabbit Dude. Let's see if this Rabbit Dude can answer the onslought of bunny questions that have been piling up over this past week.
Crazy Rabbit
Ricky would have to be the most crazed bunny I've had out of all my girls. Ever since he was a baby, he would nip you to get attention ... have you noticed I still call him a boy? I can't get into the habit of him being a her. Gah.
Cuddly Rabbit
I miss Bella and Lucy, my two cuddly rabbits. I hope they're snuggling together in bunny heaven right now.
Rabbit has Broken her Leg
Oh no! Poor wee thing, I do hope she's feeling okay.
My Rabbits Jaw Looks Swollen
Yikes - take it to the vet now. It could be a tooth abscess, or some sort of infection. Neither are very good, and it's better safe than sorry.
Panadeine for Rabbits
Er, I wouldn't be giving your rabbit panadeine. In fact, I wouldn't be giving your rabbit anything to do with medicine without seeing a vet first.
Female Rabbit Genitalia
Ha! You're asking the person who thought Ricky was a boy for months and was ready to have his bunny balls chopped off, only to discover that he was a girl the whole time anyway. And who still calls him a boy. Yeah. Apparently I'm not good at figuring out the sex of rabbits.
Cheap Skin Regime
Perhaps I should be asking you for your thoughts on a cheap skin regime. In fact, I did ask the masses for help just a few days ago. My current one involves soap and water. And judging by the fact that I'm still sort of dry and bumpy, I still need to find some sort of regime for my face. Good luck.
How Blotches Look Like
The grammar of that sentence makes my brain hurt, but luckily it's still the school holidays so I can just pretend it makes sense. Blotches look like, er, blotches. Big red splodges of colour, possibly dry, probably gross looking. They can be on your face. Or if you're a novice (finger) painter like I am, you could make a blotch on paper with any colour paint. Paint blotches are fun.
Numb Cheek
Uh oh. If your cheeks are numb, it could be the dreaded ...
Slap Cheek Syndrome
... Slap Cheek disease! Yargh! Also not-so-fondly known as parvovirus. Yes, that pet disease. No, you're not contagious to animals. But the novelty of telling people you've had parvo? Priceless.
Is it important for guys to have nice shoes?
Possibly the most important question of the day, and the answer? A strong, resounding YES. Had Jason been wearing icky shoes, I don't know what I would have done. You can read all about the importance of shoes here.
Yay for Google-age again! There's some crazy search terms there - just proves how weird some people are! Oh and I totally disagree with that review, pfft! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's still Sunday here!
ReplyDeletesunday google-age, oh how I have missed you. AND.. MAN.. you get THAT many google hits in a week!?
ReplyDeleteyay i like when people post how readers get to their site. interesting eh?
ReplyDeleteand thongs are underwear alynda! but you're right - either being smelly is downright disgusting!
I love reading these! It's so funny what people search for. Sometimes I have no idea how my blog ends up in the search results for some terms.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been around your site for too long but since it now counts as one of my regular reads I can admit that the google thing makes me laugh my a** off :)
ReplyDeleteDon't feel too bad about the blog review; they sound cranky. Besides, they've shut the place down now, so they didn't last long with such negativity! :)
ReplyDeleteI meant smelly, not melly. :D
ReplyDeleteGoogle-age is fun, and what a quaint term for it, too. Google-age, google-age... it just rolls in your tongue. And dear god, melly thongs? What have you been blogging about?! Hahahaha.
ReplyDeleteimpressive Google-age. and Mandy Moore... i don't care what length her hair is, she's amazing.
ReplyDeleteI really find it funny what people search in google. That smelly thong search is the funniest! geez!
ReplyDeleteI love seeing crazy google searches! I'm impressed by the number of searches you get! :)
ReplyDeleteI stole your idea because it made me laugh too much not to. That makes sense in my head haha.
ReplyDeleteOh hilarious! As usual!
ReplyDeleteAnd I admire you deeply for going through the savage blog review and taking it so well. I just read it and that chick was MEAN!!!! Really, who gets to make up the rules of blogging? Jerks!
Another Google verb, perhaps you invented another Google verb than that standard Google it verb that we all use. hehe
ReplyDeleteKim
Yes, the number of google searches that you get is pretty impressive. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteCheck this Out!
ReplyDeleteYesterday I got a message from 9722840600 / (972) 2840600 and I thought the the person calling was a scammer.
Guess it was a bad case of the "Mondays" - cause I went nuts - and called police and bitch.
Anyway... Gulf Coast Western -the oil drilling company- was calling who I interviewed with last month - we're calling to tell me I got the job!
How do I fix this???
Hi Travelers
ReplyDeleteI always seem to have a hard time with driving directions. How would you plan budget rides - Getting To Manhattan or for a Bus or Flying to Lake Placid . Mapquest does not have any bus information - so, I am checking out the Van Gelder Bus Lines .
Need some advice.
Cheers.