Some people like routines. Some people like change. Me? I'm a little bit of both, though I'm quite happy to admit that change freaks me out. But I have always been, and most likely will always be, a fan of sticking to a routine. Now that I've finally got my stats under control, I'm hoping the Sunday Google-age will return to it's usual scheduled programming.

Aly
Alright, I'm putting on my cranky teacher face now; which one of you hasn't added me to your links and/or feed reader, and still comes looking for my blog through a search engine?

Wearing Mary Janes
Usually when you wear Mary Janes, you just slide your foot into the shoe and do up the ankle strap. Fairly simple. I suppose if you were feeling creative, you could toss them over your shoulder or wear them on your head, but really, I'd stick to your feet if I were you.

Gloria Estefan
Turn the beat around ... love to hear percussion! [launches into a Dean Geyer backflip.]

No Makeup Pretty
Thank goodness for that, since the most makeup I own is a tube of tinted moisuriser (in skin tone "ghostly white pallor", or something along those lines), brown mascara and a bunch of lipgloss.

Pretty Hair
You think my hair is pretty too? Aw, you're too kind, thanks!

Ugly Hair
... Or perhaps not? Excuse me, while I go cry myself to sleep. [On my huge pillow.]

Blog Dentist Drilled Fillings
Last year I blogged all about my first visit to the dentist in ages, in three parts: One, Two & Three. I ended the series saying that I would be happy to go back to that dentist the following year, or when the need arises. Yeah, er, no. When I started having phantom tooth pains a couple of weeks ago, I decided I didn't want to go back to that practice. I'm following the recommendations of a friend, and am booked in for a visit next week. Cross your fingers for me!

Panadol Slogan 2007
Ooh, let's see what I can come up with for this one ... although it won't be a super catchy jingle because let's face it, nothing rhymes well with Panadol. You saw it here first, folks.

Use it when you're sick and use it when you're ill,
Panadol is the pain killing pill.
You can store it on your sink or on your window sill,
But don't use it while operating a working windmill.

Cute Kiwis
The New Zealand Kiwi's really are cute, even if they are secretly all robots. You decide.

Stomping Stanley
I do enjoy a good stomp every once and a while, it's good for venting frustration. But I've never been called a Stomping Stanley before ... but there's a first time for everything!

Thong Scandal
I'm curious, what sorts of scandals do thongs get into? I suppose having a smelly thong could be considered scandalous, whether referring to the shoe or the underwear.

Short Skirts
Short skirts are skirts that are short. Quite a clever creation, wouldn't you agree?

Christmas Beetles What They Don't Like
I'm not sure what they don't like, but I can tell you what they do like: they like dive bombing innocent swimmers at night and causing them to be paranoid in the future.

Thunder Thighs
Alright, I'll admit it, I didn't exercise at all this weekend. I haven't since Friday. But that's no reason to start calling me names, alright? I'll be back on the bandwagon on Monday.

Straddling
Is quite a naughty sounding word when it's sitting there all by itself like that, isn't it?

Brandon Boyd Pirate Hat
In last week's Google-age, I complained about not being able to find a photograph of Incubus frontman Brandon Boyd, where he is donning a pirate hat and not much else. The gods were smiling today on me today though; I found it! Behold, a rather sassy pirate .. phwoar.

Brandon Boyd Shirtless & Brandon Boyd Topless
Uh-huh. I get what you're looking for. You guys just can't get enough, can you?

Strangle
Hey now, let's not resort to strangling. Why don't you try stomping instead?

How to Get Rid of Bogong Moths in Clothes
Shake your clothes (while outside, unless you are someone who enjoys having moths of doom take up residence in your curtains) like a polaroid picture, with your arms as far outstretched from your body as they go. Think Inspector Gadget arms, people. And should any moths dart out from the clothes and try to attack; Shriek like a girl, throw the clothes across the lawn and run inside while flailing your arms. That'll do it.

Arse
Short and to the point. Am referring to the search term of course, not my arse.

Self Spanking & Spanking Equipment
If I keep getting these searches, I think I'll need to start researching the topic for future reference, because I've officially got nothing to offer on this one. Help?

Photo of Ricki Lake's Legs
I bet when they followed this search link, all they ended up with were pictures of Ricky the rabbit. Poor things, I don't quite think that was what they were looking for.

Red Eyed Rabbit
Aside from their eyes being a wee bit creepy at first, you don't notice it after a while. Really.

Rabbit Genitalia
Am sorry, but since last week's request for help regarding bunny genitals, I am still completely clueless on how to tell the two apart. Tricky wee things, they are.

Camel Penis
All this talk about nether regions reminds me of one of my favourite quotes from Grey's Anatomy.

Izzie: You're my penis fish.
George: You don't even have a penis, why am I the fish?

Contiki Grand Southern Review
Look, I really do have to go on the tour first before I can give you a decent review. You should probably bookmark this page and come back in about a year or so.

How to Treat Contiki Cough
I didn't even know this condition existed until I came back from Europe, when I realised that I'd had the dreaded thing. (I remember snuffling my way through Monaco, coughing my lungs up in Lyon & buying nasal spray in Rome. Good times!) But really, what can you do about being couped up in a tour bus breathing in other people's germs? All part of the experience.

Going on Contiki Sex & Sex on Contiki
How I ended up being the expert on sex on Contiki tours is beyond me. From the reviews I've been reading lately, there seem to be more girls and less guys on tours, I wonder what impact that has on the sex that happens. Wouldn't this be an interesting thesis topic?

Sweaty Girls at the Gym
Looks like I've been sprung: I sweat like crazy when I work out. It isn't pretty. And anyone who doesn't sweat at the gym is automatically on my hate-list. Haaaaate.

Brushing Teeth at 6:00am and at 10pm
Well done, I'm sure your dentist loves you. I'm usually snoring at both of those times, though.

John Mayer is Sexy
Word.

Acrostic Poem for Keira
Aha, another opportunity for me to get my creative juices flowing.

Keira, this poem was written from me to you.
Even though I don't know who you are.
I like your name though. It's pretty.
Really hope you like my poem.
Although I apparently suck at writing acrostic poetry.

Badgergirl
Ah, you've come across my term of endearment for a fabulous blogger: Velocibadgergirl.

Tacky Wedding Outfit
Oh, let's see what good ol' Google can find for us. You want tacky? I can get you tacky! How about this revealing little number, I wonder if she has a smelly thong? Or perhaps this sassy bridal ensemble is more to your taste? And nothing screams tacky like Hello Kitty.

Blotchy Skin & Broken Out Skin Age 33
Considering my face resembles a piece of sandpaper with paint splodges on it at the moment, my hearty recommendation is to keep googling until you find someone who knows what they are talking about. And then come back and give me all the answers.

Can I use Proactive and Different Cream?
Well sure you can, if you enjoy having your face burned into a crisp. (Despite what Jessica Simpson said, ProActiv wasn't good for my skin at all. It burned. BURNED!)

Picture of a Sneeze & Bless You
Even more disturbing than someone searching for a picture of a sneeze, is the fact that I just googled it myself ... and found an image. Completely gross. You can see it here, if you're so inclined. Ah well, at least they used their manners appropriately.

Distract
This person got distracted before they could finish typing what they were searching for, ha.