A few days ago, I was out on the quadrangle getting ready for my regular lunchtime playground duty, when I was approached by a kindergarten student. Turns out she had been given some kind of fortune cookie inside her lunchbox that day, and she wanted me to read out what the message inside of the biscuit said.
Just imagine my surprise when I unfolded and read the paper;
"You will be successful and talented in bed."
Oh, my. Thankfully I had read it in my head before blurting it out to the little girl! Trying to mask my shock, I shared the first part with her and left out the latter. I wonder what her mum would think, had she seen her daughter's fortune that day ...
I decided to look into my own future, thanks to Bad Cookie. The verdict?
"You have an unusually repulsive personality.
Ouch - bad cookie indeed. Click the link, and share your own fortunes with us all in the comments. I promise not to judge!
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33 comments:
You will become a great bore in your later years....
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
mine has warned me: "Depart not from the path which fate has assigned or you will die a hideous death."
boy, i'm glad i know!
now, which of these is the path fate has assigned?
damn...
Mine read "Evil thoughts come from your heart". That's by far not as offensive as you being told you will have a repulsive personality.
The story with the girl is funny though. I'd love to have seen your face when you read it :)Have a lovely weekend.
"Always remember to pillage before you burn."
Oh, but I do...
"Pray for what you want, but steal what you need." Hmm, well let's see ... I "need" enough money to quit my job, an agent to sell my book, a new, more comfortable bed ... or, wait - are those "wants?" I don't know, but I definitely "need" more sleep!
Hey there, just letting you know you've been tagged. Drop by and see what with.
"Your life will never be graced with the presence of stardom."
Actually, that one's a bit of a relief!
That's one evil cookie. "You or a close friend will be gravely ill within a year." Jeez.
"You will soon be drowning in the great waters."
Hmm... I should probably warn the flight crew on the way back home that the plane will be going down over the Pacific.
Mine says "If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book." Good thing we don't have open book exams here (that I know of). :p
"Now is not the time to start something new."
Word, cookie. Word.
"failure surely comes your way"
suck it, bad cookie!
"Pray for what you want. Steal what you need." Hmmm.
Aww crap, mine's really lousy: "You will win only mediocrity in whatever calling you adopt." Whatever, cookie!
"Always remember to pillage before you burn"
Good advice, if you're into that sort of thing...
"You will never be graced with the presence of stardom"
Aww man.
"Your spirit of adventure will be deadly." Gee, I hope I don't wake up with a dead hooker next to me.
"You are low on wit and energy."
Seeing as how I put on 2 different colored shoes this morning, I would say Bad Cookie is dead on.
"Now is not the time to try something new". Good to know!
Also, I tagged you for a survey thingy. Feel free to ignore though if you aren't interesting in those things :)
Because I can never leave well enough alone, I did five cookies:
"Beware the dark mechanical bird" - Cookie #1
#2: "You have little wit or energy"
#3 'your spirit of adventure will be deadly"
#4 (my favorite) "Evil thoughts come from your heart" - Well at least that one's INTERESTING! Mean cookie, mean!
#5 "Your heart is impure, your mind clouded and your soul evil" GEEZ, cookie h8s me!
"a friend is a present you can buy yourself."
hmm...is it saying that i have to buy my friends?! no one wants to be friends with me for free?! booo.
"You are not of the people that "goes places in life". Ouchie!
"Failure Surely Comes Your Way"
I'm never clicking a link in your blog again, aly. The starbucks oracle you posted a while ago told me I was fat because I drink skim milk, and this one is telling my I'm doomed to fail.
your life will never be graced by the presence of stardom
i guess i'll give up my dream of being on aussie idol
LMAO
Yep, I'm also a “Always remember to pillage before you burn.”
Not really my style either
Now is a good time for automobile servicing? What the hell? My car is 12 years old. Servicing or retiring? what?
Wow, what kind of cookie company was that mother getting her fortune cookies from?
My bad cookie says "Simplicity and boredom are themes in your dress." Which sadly is entirely true.
I thought you were supposed to add "in bed" yourself for a snicker. I had no idea they were pre-printing it in the fortunes now!
"You will never step on the soil of other countries."
Um, wrong. Sorry. Unless I dreamed those trips ;-)
But funny.
Haha, oh dear god. Good thing she wasn't slightly older and able to read it herself.
"You or a close friend will be gravely ill within the year."
Run.
"You can not fall off the floor". What the eff does that mean? That I can't get any lower? Mean cookie!
I thought "in bed" was what you were supposed to add to the end of your fortunes? I guess they decided to take it another step further. Wonder what her mom would have though about that one!
"Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving to where you can't find them." -- that's funny!
And I also thought "in bed" was something you were supposed to add in your head I can't believe they printed that.
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