PCOS Is Not My Friend: The Weight

I started off with the obvious symptom I'd experienced with PCOS: my out-of-whack and barely there menstrual cycle, if you can call it that. Now, we're moving on to the weight gain that comes with the syndrome.

You know my struggles with weight gain - if you need a refresher, you can read about my journey here and here.

{Image source here}

So what's the deal with the weight gain & PCOS? This website states it well when it describes it like this:

"Another telltale symptom of PCOS is steady, significant weight gain — even with reduced caloric intake. Some women report that they’re gaining weight no matter what they do. It’s not unusual for patients with PCOS to tell me they’ve recently gained 60 or more pounds in less than a year, despite dieting all the time and exercise. This weight usually accumulates around their middle. Why do some women with PCOS gain weight at such alarming rates? The research is showing that PCOS is strongly linked with insulin resistance."

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I've always struggled with my weight, for as long as I can recall.

Little did I know that after spending years of complaining about how heavy I was, that I was actually prone to weight gain thanks to the joy that is borderline insulin resistance. Now, I'm not going to say that I have always eaten a perfectly healthy diet, because that would be a lie. I've always been a fussy eater, too quick to jump at the fast option and never really able to switch off and just say 'no' to hefty potions. But what I didn't know was that I was pre-disposed to put on weight at a much faster rate than most others, thanks to the hormonal imbalance and problems with insulin resistance that come hand in hand with PCOS.

I put on the majority of my weight during university. In January 2007, I hit an all-time high of 97kg. The only reason I remember that, is because it was the weight they had scrawled on my hand when I was being weighed in for my bungy jump and canyon swing on our New Zealand holiday. I had never been more mortified to have my weight announced to everyone like that, but it was the kick up the butt I needed to start seriously losing weight. In 2007, I lost around 17kg and got down to my lowest weight of 80kg. I had also completed the Couch to 5k program and was running almost every other day, until I developed severe shin splints, that plague me even now!

When I moved to London, I was back up to around 85kg, but looking and feeling better than I had in a very long time. People warned me about the Heathrow Injection, but I wasn't that worried - I was moving in with Jase who is quite possibly the most health conscious boy on the planet, and I had big plans for joining a gym, walking around & loving life over here! That happened, for the most part. We hardly ate out (and still don't now!) and I was working out quite a bit, and enjoying walking around the city while exploring. Unfortunately while I was doing all of those lovely things, I was gaining weight at the same time.

It's always frustrating when you're putting on weight. What is MORE frustrating is putting on weight when you're still doing all the right things. By the time we moved flats last year and despite me joining the nearby gym and working out five days a week, it had just gotten worse. When I started the portion controlled diet in July, I had hit 100kg. Again with the mortification. I felt like a whale. I felt like a disappointment.

I'm down 10kg since then and am now weighing in at 89.9kg. I'm SO pleased with this {you have no idea!} and I'm still going, still aiming to shift as much of this weight as I can before we get home. Because of the insulin problems, I'm trying to follow a low GI diet. That means goodbye to my favourite things like potato, corn, white bread and pasta. Of course, I'm still having carbohydrates, but just in smaller portions and in wholegrain options if possible. We made little switches, like using brown rice, wholemeal bread and wholewheat tortillas. We don't buy potatoes. We never really drank sugary soda here at home, but we've made sure to switch to sugar free cordial and snacks, where we can. Little things, you know?

But what scares me is what will happen when the weight loss slows down, which it almost always does. What happens when I continue eating right and exercising right, but when I get stuck? Or worse, what happens if I start putting things back on again? I've mentioned before that the one thing I'm afraid of with weight loss is a mental barrier I have: it's one of disappointing people. I don't want Jase to always think of me as a big girl. I don't want to be dreading my wedding day because I know I'll look at pictures and be disappointed in not being pretty enough, or thin enough. I don't want to be an overweight wife who struggles to get pregnant, and if lucky enough, carries a baby in an unhealthy body. I don't want to be that mum, who was overweight when she started the journey and continues to be overweight, and then some, after the birth. I'm sick of being in this cycle!

Ah, but I digress. {Having a blog is great for venting, sometimes.} The weight gain part of PCOS, well, to be blunt? It blows. It's not bad enough that you're not ovulating properly and are at risk of infertility, but to also feel and look fat and frumpy at the same time? It's really awful. I really feel for those women out there who have PCOS and similar symptoms, because I know from personal experience, just how degrading the whole process is.

It's not over yet, folks. There are even more symptoms to come. I had some amazing emails and messages come through after the last blog post which I really appreciated, so feel free to share your support in the comments.