Guest Post: Wedding Planning Advice

It feels like I've been reading Bec's blog, BS of the Day, forever. I've followed her through her engagement, her wedding, and her life as a newlywed, and she's such an amazing person. Thanks for sharing your advice with us, you're a star!

Since Aly’s wedding day will be here before she knows it and with my one year anniversary coming up, I decided to write a few words of advice for those planning a wedding. I am by no means an expert but maybe my own learning experiences will help someone else.

• Yes, the wedding should be fun for your guests and they should be comfortable, but this is still YOUR wedding. Make it about you two. Think about hobbies you share, music you like, and your personal styles and try to capture that in the wedding. If your family is very proper and is expecting a formal wedding, but you feel like your relationship is fun, casual and quirky, make the wedding fun and casual! One of the issues we faced was that our families were steering us to have the wedding in the summer since everyone would be out of school. However, I always dreamed of a fall wedding. I had almost booked my wedding for June when at the last minute I decided to follow my own wishes and book in October. I don’t regret it for one minute. I am not saying to ignore the guests and be selfish, but I think most brides will try too hard to please everyone.
  
  
• Don’t obsess over the abundance of wedding TV shows, movies, blogs, books, etc. You will see so many perfect weddings with amazing details. Some of these wedding budgets are way more than you could ever spend. Some of the pictures are actually staged before the wedding day. Don’t worry about perfection! Look at the pictures and watch the TV shows for fun or inspiration but don’t put so much pressure on yourself that you end up unhappy because your wedding didn’t look like the one you saw in that magazine.
  
  
• Choose what is most important and focus on those things first. I was told this during my planning process and I kept thinking, how the heck do I figure out what is most important to me? I was not one of those women that had been planning my wedding since I was a little girl so I was completely lost. One day my mother asked me, “Think about the weddings you have been to. What do you remember about them? What do you not remember?” Her questions helped me so much. I realized I remembered the overall feel and how fun the reception was. I remember the food and music. I cannot remember one single centerpiece. I remember how the cake tasted but not how it looked. So I made sure to have dancing and a really tasty cake. I wasn’t thrilled with how the cake looked but it tasted amazing so that was enough for me. My centerpieces were simple fall candles that probably cost me around $100 total for 10 – 15 tables. Some people might be appalled but for me, it was perfect. Cutting back on the time and money spent on the centerpieces allowed me to focus on other aspects that were more important.
  
  
• Even if things go wrong on the wedding day, try your best to smile and have fun. Even if you have to pretend, be happy. If you are upset about something, your guests will know and it will affect everyone else (even if you think you are hiding it really well). I went to a wedding recently where the bride was upset about the color of the cake. She pitched a fit and yelled at a couple of her bridesmaids. I was standing nearby and was so incredibly uncomfortable. In fact, one of the few things I remember about that wedding was the bride’s meltdown. It only lasted a few minutes but it was something I will never forget. Things will go awry and you need to just laugh it off. The last thing you want to remember when looking back on your own wedding is the fact that you cried over how awful the flowers were or you hurt a family member’s feelings because you snapped at them.
  
  
• The last word of advice I have is to completely ignore the people that say your wedding day will be the best day of your life. That’s ridiculous. I think that puts way too much pressure on women to plan the perfect day. There will be so many wonderful days in your future and married life is amazing. I would certainly hope that the first day of your marriage is not the best day. The best days (and there will be many) are still to come!

Aly, I am so happy for you and can’t wait to see how the wedding plans come along. You are going to be one gorgeous bride! Have a wonderful trip home!