Harry the Huntsman

Today's blog entry, while somewhat ironic and amusing, may frighten some readers. Fair warning: it's a post about spiders. Big. Freaking. Spiders.

This past week, I've been stalked by one of those Big. Freaking. Spiders. You might say strange coincidence, I say stalked. Seriously. Let me preface today's post by saying that while I get a little squeamish around bugs, I'm usually not that bad. So far this term, we've had dragonflies, grasshoppers and a sparrow (!) somehow get inside our classroom, and each time I've either a) left them alone to find their way out or b) opened up a window for them to escape from. The kidlets are pretty mellow - if they see a visitor inside the room, they get excited and let me know, and then promptly forget about them ten seconds later. Ah, the mind of a six year old.

Anyway, so far so good. Until Wednesday, when one of the kids discovered a huntsman spider camped out at the back of the classroom, sitting in the roof corner. 

What's a huntsman? This is a huntsman. **Don't click unless you want to be seriously creeped out. Really.**

So his discovery led to a bit of a panic because OMGZ! SPIDER! WAH! (and no, not from me - yet) - but once again, the kidlets were soon distracted by other things. As for me, well, I pretended he wasn't there, but constantly kept my eye on him to make sure I could see him. I like to keep the creepy crawlies where I can see 'em, rather than have them scurry off and lurk. There is nothing worse than a lurking spider.

He stayed up there all day. I watched, he sat. It was a good arrangement.

At the end of the day, I noticed he'd started making his way across the wall to the door - so I left it open for the night, as well as the closest few windows - hoping that by the next morning, he'd have scurried off to stalk someone else. No such luck, I'm afraid. I walked into the classroom on Thursday morning & he'd vanished. 'Oh well', I thought to myself. 'As long as he's not hiding under something I'm sure to pick up, we're cool.'

Ha. HA. HAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, you know where this is going, right? 

The first thing I do everyday is pick up my playground duty folder and take it to the cupboard near the classroom door; it's a reminder for me to take it out with me each day. I got the fright of my life when I opened up the folder AND THERE HE WAS. Like, an inch away from my hand. I shoved the folder back and RAN backwards, wailing the whole time. Looking back, it was lucky I'd checked it that early in the morning while there were no littlies around, because I'm fairly sure that I bellowed out a few expletives at the top of my lungs during that whole scene. Can you believe it? He was waiting for me, I'm sure of it.

After that little scene, I had to have him out of there. I went up to the office and started asking around for someone who wasn't bothered by spiders, and one of our Assistant Principals offered to get a broom and sweep him outside. She did, too. The spider was outside, I quickly locked and shut all the windows and doors, and she brushed him along the wall towards the trees. Things were good. Spidey was gone. I was happy. The bell rang, and after picking up my class and walking them back to our room, I couldn't believe my eyes.

The spider had crawled all the way back along the wall (two classroom lengths!) and was in the process of flattening itself out and climbing through our locked classroom door. Seriously? Seriously! Suffice it to say that I wasn't going back in there again until he was removed, forcefully if necessary. The teacher in the room next to mine is a tall male (thank the heavens!) who offered to remove it - so with a broom and a bucket in hand, he got the spider down and walked it all the way across the playground for me.

During this whole ordeal, the kidlets came up with a name for it: Harry the Huntsman. All I have to say is this: 

Harry? If you come back in my classroom again, I am going to throw a table at you and you will die. Enough is enough. That's all I'm saying. Have a smashing day. Best Regards, Aly.