Worried & Disappointed

I've gone from happiness to worry in the last half an hour, which is not how I expected to start today's blog post. In fact, I was originally going to gush all over the lab technician who took my blood this morning in about thirty seconds flat, proving that a) my veins aren't dead and b) those other two suckers who were stabbing me like a pin cushion SUCK. Seriously, I was in love with the guy. He was awesome.

Then, I was going to tell you how I had my ultrasound & that they found 13 follicles, around 9-10 of a decent size, and how they booked in my egg collection for Thursday morning. Squee!

The nurse this morning was great, going through the procedure, giving me all of the juicy details on how to use Crinone and giving me details on how the egg collection was going to go down. I felt really happy, organised the time off work today and got mentally prepared to trigger tomorrow evening.

(Looks like we know which ovary is doing all the work, eh?)

That was what I was going to tell you.

I got a phone call at about 5pm from a different nurse. She said that the blood test results from this morning showed that my E2 levels had plateaued. For reference, this is how they've looked so far this cycle:

Stims Day 7: 929
Stims Day 9: 1898
Stims Day 11 (today): 1872

So instead of rising, they've come to a standstill. The nurse on the phone explained that if this happens, the follicles can sometimes stop increasing in size. She told me to ignore the trigger/egg pickup advice. I'm to increase my Puregon slightly for two more days (from 125 to 150) and come in on Wednesday morning for another ultrasound and blood test to see how things have improved. If all goes well, she thinks they'll schedule me in for a Friday egg collection instead. She didn't seem particularly worried, but now I am.

What happens if this cycle stalls, after all this time and effort and money? What happens if my follies shrivel up or don't contain mature eggs, and we get nothing? If this cycle gets cancelled, I will be literally crushed. I know I asked for good thoughts today for the ultrasound, but oy, if you can spare a few more for me over the next few days, I'd really appreciate it. I'm off to google & hopefully make myself feel better.