Man, I feel like our luck just keeps going from bad to worse. Why is IVF proving so rubbish for us?
I was feeling ok (since 3 out of the 4 follicles they'd told me about wasn't too bad) but then we had bad news from hubby. His first sample didn't have enough motile swimmers, so he was asked back for a second sample. We had to wait about an hour to see a scientist (apparently they have meetings on Monday?) and my cheerful post-op nature suddenly turned to tiredness. To top it all off, the scientist was a bit flippant with us, which led me to burst into tears in the exam room.
Basically, the sperm weren't motile, even from the second sample, that we have now been swapped from IVF to ICSI. Knowing that not every egg is mature, we're looking at 1-2 fertilising IF we're lucky.. so no frosties again, and no 5-day transfer (unless the gods deem us lucky and have 3 from 3 fertilise - not likely).
She then said something about 'oh, next time I'm sure you'll get 20 eggs!' and I just lost it. I'm so tired of this whole 'next time around' thing. It sucks. I don't WANT there to be a next time around. I want eggs to play with, not to stress out about for the next 24 hours to see if we have ANY left at all. I want to get to blast @ day 5, but the reality is looking like a 3-day again, if we get there.
Sorry for the blah news, but I'm just disappointed. Aren't the IVF rounds supposed to get BETTER as you go on, not worse? I just hope the news we get tomorrow, on my 28th birthday, isn't all bad.
Update: The fertility centre just rang, and said J's second sample was much better after it was washed, so they're reverting back to regular old IVF. Now the wait is on to see how they go tomorrow.
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12 comments:
Oh Ali-I wish I could give you a big old hug:-(. I am so sorry to read of this bad news cycle you seem to be stuck in. I'm hoping beyond all hope that you get SOMETHING positive out of this cycle. I hate that they are already talking "next time"-it seems so defeatist and completely discounts all you went through THIS time. Sigh. Hang in here. <3 Eve in California
I'm sorry you didn't get better numbers. I really hope "the one" is in that bunch!
xox
Please don't apologize for feeling down! There are so many expectations, and when things don't turn out the way we hoped, it's hard. I'll keep my fingers crossed that your luck turns around and that this is the cycle you end up pregnant. **hugs**
Oh, Aly, I am so sorry. I'm hoping and praying all three fertilize. I've been thinking about you and will continue to do so.
What a rough day. ::hugs::
Sending good vibes to your eggs and J's boys.
Hi Ali,
I ran across your blog. I'm in the US and am it looks like we're on the same cycle although I'm a day before. I also had 3 retrieved and found out today that 2 were fertilized (1 by ICSI and 1 without). It's such a difficult process and I totally wished that I had more eggs!!! But I met two women last weekend who had produced a huge amount of eggs and they didn't get pregnant. RIght now I'm trying to focus on the fact that I really just need one to make it through!! Good luck! Sticky vibes to you.
I know this sounds so freaking cliche but it truly does take only one to stick. I have seen more postive results come out of ladies with lower egg numbers verses higher. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and hoping nothing but the best
Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you :( really, really hoping that your news gets better than it has been. Hoping all of those lil ones makes it.
Ali, I am totally thinking about you!! Keep your head up! All it takes is 1!!
I'm so sorry for the disappointment and that this has to be so hard. Hoping for the best for you!
I'm so sorry sweetie. I'm hoping that at least one of those three holds the key for you. Hugs!! XX
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