Tuesday 2 October 2012

11 weeks + 1 day

I've been down to one progesterone pessary each morning for the last few days. I wish I could say that doing that has seen no special side effects - but man, the cramping has intensified over the last few days. I'm usually okay going to bed, but I wake up at night with them, and I wake up in the morning with them. I hope it's normal 'baby-stretching-uterus' cramping, and not 'progesterone-related-oh-no-badthings' cramping.
I'm definitely in the limbo stage of early pregnancy. I'm bloating out of my regular clothes, but maternity clothes are falling off me, since I have no bump yet. At the moment, I'm living in stretchy clothes with elastic waistbands, but I'm tired of looking frumpy. It will be nice to actually look pregnant at some point.
Our NT scan is next week and I am so ridiculously excited to see the baby again - but also terrified. I think that I'll always be nervous with this pregnancy; infertility takes that calmness away from you; but there are a lot of factors that are making me worried. I'm nervous that the baby will be too small, since he was measuring small at the last scan. I'm worried that we'll have signs of a high-risk pregnancy, or that there will be something of concern that shows up. I'm scared that there will be no heartbeat. 
At the same time though, I'm trying hard to believe that everything will be okay. I'm here, we're in Week 11, we're getting there one day at a time. I love this little blob so much already, that I have to have a little faith, you know? We went through so much to get here, I'm not taking a single day for granted.
I also couldn't help myself... and bought something baby-related this week. How could I not? It's just so freaking cute!
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5 comments:

  1. Mrs Green Grass2 October 2012 at 10:57

    I just love all of the owl stuff! I bought an owl cross stitch birth notice today.

    The cramping is all baby...no progesterone!

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  2. Pippa2 October 2012 at 12:29

    Hey this is Pip. I have funny feelings in the morning too and I am still on the pessaries. So I think it is normal. Maybe get a pillow to put under your side. That is suppose to ease the cramping and pain.

    I had a scan this morning to check that everything is okay and all is good. I was so tempted to buy something but I stayed away. But I am looking with my eyes peeled!!!!

    I have to say that your anxieties and mine are very similar and this is going to sound strange but it is comforting to know that I am not alone!

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  3. Lindz2 October 2012 at 13:15

    Finn has this in a jumper! All will be well. I worried about the same things without infertility.

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  4. Teacher Anonymous2 October 2012 at 13:22

    Adorable shirt! Plus, definitely gender neutral, which is always a good idea at this stage.

    I have to say, even with one perfectly normal pregnancy under my belt (which I worried my way through), I still worry quite a bit. So, you've probably got more reason to worry after all the trouble to get to this point, but I don't think anyone actually has a worry-free pregnancy. So, hey! That's perfectly normal!

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  5. Ali @ Not All Dreams Are Free2 October 2012 at 15:56

    That owl onesie is uber cute! Aly, I think you may have signed up for worrying for the rest of your life (now that you're pregnant). I mean that in a good way!! As I have never got as far as you, I can only assume that all your worries are completely natural. Only a few more days till you get to see the bub again!

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