Everyone tells you that it'll be hard, but it's one of those things that just doesn't hit home until you're in the middle of it. And in this instance, 'it' is you standing in the living room in your jammies, boobs hanging out, baby poop on your shirt, oily unwashed hair falling out of a bun & an inconsolable screaming, red-faced baby in your arms.

It's not always like this - we have great days, good days & average days as well as the so-ridiculously-hard days.

You see, I didn't have a lot to do with newborns before we started trying to fall pregnant. We don't have a big extended family with littl'uns, we don't have nieces or nephews, and I don't have many friends with children. When we were struggling to conceive, I distanced myself from anything related to babies, because it was too hard to deal with. I read a million books about pregnancy, but very few about what came afterwards.

Georgia is our little guinea pig. We learn as we go, and we're probably going to keep learning until she's 30. I'm beginning to notice the signs for when she's hungry, when she's fussy, and when she's getting tired or overtired.

It's the other moments that are stressful - the ones that leave you in the situation I described in the first paragraph of this blog entry. The times where she will cry, and cry, and cry, and you have absolutely NO idea why. It's the saddest crying, too. The kind where she'll work herself up into sobs. The part that gets me is when a tiny, lonely tear trickles down her face - that's when I feel the worst.

I think most new parents probably go through the same mental checklist that we do: is she fed? clean? cold? hot? in pain from something? cuddled? comfortable? tired? not tired? When you've ticked all the boxes, tried all the soothing techniques you know of, and spent hours googling things like 'Why is my almost 9-week old baby screaming uncontrollably?' ... yep, it's hard. I wish there was an answer for why she has these days or what to do to comfort her, but it's all just trial and error. What works on one day generally doesn't work on another, and we just try to keep our heads above water.

As cheesy as it sounds, I wouldn't trade the hard times for anything. Today was a glorious day. Georgia was happy, had lots of naps, spent some time on her tummy and her back, kept herself happy blabbering away in her bouncer, and fed well. She gave me the most adorable gummy grin after a feed, and barely cried at all. As I type this, she's having an evening snooze in her portacot & is making the most gorgeous sighing sounds in her sleep. When she wakes, we'll be having our bath, bottle, boob & bed routine, trying to lull her into a full night's sleep again.

I'm already seeing my newborn baby disappear, and I'm trying to treasure this stage before she outgrows it. I love to see her growing, but I'm also sad to see her growing. In the midst of the crazy crying fits and the hard, sleep-deprived times, I can honestly see why people do this all over again. I'm going to miss Georgia being this little.