There's this irrational frame of mind that I seem to get into when it comes to getting pregnant.
You see, I think I'm a good luck beacon for other people. It happened with Georgia, and it happened with the last baby, and it is happening now as we're trying again. When you're public about TTC, you inevitably find yourself cycling with a group of people, maybe even in TWW together. You eagerly share symptoms, chat about how you're feeling, and hope for the best.
Well, nearly every time that's happened... there has been a pregnancy. It obviously isn't me, ha - but my cycle buddies get lucky - yay! And each time someone gets good news before me, I always assume my cycle is over, it's negative. Partially because of my useless history at conceiving, but partially because the pregnancy quota was obviously already full.
So what is this mystical pregnancy quota?
I guess it's something I've made up in my mind to explain the phenomena of other people getting pregnant, and us.. well, not so much. As in, if the two other people in your cycle get knocked up, your own odds are then pretty slim. As in, only a certain number of people can 'get lucky' at a given time. As in, if you're trying to get pregnant, come and hang out with me. {Even folks who needed IVF in previous conceptions seem to get natural miracles during my cycles. It's mind-blowing.}
You're probably reading this post and rolling your eyes. There IS no pregnancy quota, and the world most certainly does NOT revolve around me. But I'll tell you what, it sure does feel like it some days.
And I'd love to be able to throw that pregnancy quota out of the window, and prove it wrong. Just sayin'.
For me, it was sort of opposite in terms of quota - no such stories during my failed cycles, but for my last cycle which ended in miscarriage, it was like a pregnancy season, with almost everyone whom I knew were trying (including long time IVFers) falling pregnant. So when I found that my HCG was on the low side, with every new pregnancy announcement, I was more and more stressed out that mine was doomed, even after things looked up for a while. After all, there are success rates that are well known, and I was certain to be the one who is the most unlucky. Can't control what our bloody minds come up with, can we? I blame it on IF though for stripping us of all our faith in lady luck. Fingers crossed for not long! Take care hun.
ReplyDeleteYour theory is definitely something I believe!
ReplyDeleteOh, I fully believe in it! As I, too, am a good luck charm for everyone but myself. Maybe we'll be good luck for each other? It's happened before! :)
ReplyDelete:) I smiled reading this. I feel the same way about this
ReplyDeleteThis post made me smile...I think we've all been there in some way or another. I never considered it a pregnancy quota...but more like if there's six of us, only three - max - will get pregnant. If they all are, I lose hope for myself that cycle. Here via ICLW :)
ReplyDeleteI'm friends on FB with a bunch of the girls from the 1st round babies and let me just say that a few have had natural pregnancies, a few miscarriages, a few IVF BFNs and a few IVF BPS for #2. So you are far from alone in this! (I'm rooting from the sidelines...)
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean - I also feel like a good luck charm to others - never quite getting those two pink lines myself. But having said that, I don't think there is such a thing and has no effect on your own chances. A medium once told me I had an "allocation" of 2 children, a boy and a girl, but I seem to have put my order in wrong along the way! xx
ReplyDeleteHi from ICLW... I feel this way sometimes, too! I can't count how many people around me have gotten pregnant. It's tough!
ReplyDeleteThis is how I felt about dating with my friends!! As in, she's due for a good boyfriend- and low and behold- my friend(s) would get one. I always felt left out of the boyfriend loop. I still have one single girlfriend who is sooo long over due for the most amazing guy!! I will say, she is living one incredible life!!
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