A New Cycle

Yesterday was CD1 - my period came on quite suddenly. My fertility specialist had warned me that after the egg retrieval from this IVF, I'd likely get a bleed quickly; something to do with the Lucrin trigger, and with not bothering with any progesterone support at all. It came right on time for a change.

This cycle I will be using Letrozole. Not so much for TTC, since it's blatantly obvious that we will never miraculously conceive a baby on our own - but for making sure I ovulate and have a short cycle that doesn't drag on forever.

I had a bit of a meltdown when I realised just how close to Christmas my next cycle will {hopefully} be - thinking about what would happen if it fell into the time period of when my clinic closes for the holidays. After thinking about it {okay... stressing about it!} I contacted the nurses to ask whether I could still go ahead with my next FET if the beginning of the cycle fell into the holidays. I mean, even if that did happen, I wouldn't be needing any monitoring or anything until January, when they'd be open again - so I didn't think that would be a problem.

Until I got a message back, that is. Their response went something like this: 'Sorry Aly, but it's unlikely you'll be able to cycle again until we're back open, so it'll have to be your next period after that'. 

Now.. I want you to imagine me LOSING MY SHIT. Got a visual? Good. It wasn't pretty.

After a few expletives and a bit of a meltdown, I ended up getting a call from the head of the FET team {which consists of the amazing scientists & embryologists}. She reassured me that she'd drawn the short straw of being there over the Christmas break, and that we'd definitely be able to do a frozen cycle, so long as I was willing to pop in for bloods and appointments with some flexibility. Absolutely! She's also going to be the one working my little embabies, so that makes me feel better. She said that they have a really positive success rate with thawing & then growing out day 1 frozen embryos, and by looking at our previous cycles, she was confident that we'd have a blastocyst to transfer. I really hope she's right. I'm glad she's on our case.

This morning I needed to clear my head. I've been in a funk since we had the last miscarriage and since the IVF cycle ended badly - so I set my alarm for 5.15am and walked down to our local park. It was pretty deserted, which I needed. Just me, some music, watching the sun rising. I ended up going for a bit of a jog around the track while I was there, which was tough but therapeutic at the same time.

It's been so hard to be positive and upbeat, but I've been putting on a brave face - but it is TIRING. I just have to have a bit of hope that there are good things around the corner for us soon.