2014: The Year That Was

I still remember the absolute joy I felt while writing up the review for last year. 2013 was one of the most amazing and incredible years of my life so far - and it's a shame that the year that followed was full of so much sadness.

I'm following the same format as years gone by to keep it simple - (2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012 & 2013)

1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before? Lost two pregnancies.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I had a whole lot of goals this year, and I managed nearly all of them! In particular, I smashed my reading goal (over 30 books) & took a gazillion photographs of Georgia. We knew that wouldn't be too hard!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Some online friends had their bubbas this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Not this year.

5. What countries did you visit? Nowhere, how sad is that?

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014? A healthy pregnancy with no complications.

7. What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 30, when we celebrated Georgia's first birthday. June 19, when we found out we were expecting baby #2. August 11, when we got the devastating news that our baby had died. October 20, when we found out we were pregnant again. November 6, when we lost that baby too.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Just surviving. This was a freaking hard year. Seriously though, Georgia made some great progress with milestones this year & I'm so proud of her.

9. What was your biggest failure? The way that I coped with both the infertility and the losses. I've never felt sadness like this before, and I feel like I handled it terribly - it's only now, six months later, that I'm finally moving on from the miscarriages and trying to look at things in a positive light. That's a LONG time to be in the worst place in the world. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? We've been pretty healthy this year, thank goodness.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I didn't really 'buy' it, but my library card - I've been meaning to get one for years, and I've finally sorted myself out & am reading up a storm with it.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? Jason, as always. He's supported me through some of the hardest times this year, and has pulled me out of the dark places - all the while dealing with his own sadness. He's the most incredible dad, and such a good man. My family have also tried hard to support me this year, and I'm grateful for them.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? My own.

14. Where did most of your money go? Georgia. But we wouldn't have it any other way!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Georgia learned to walk! And run! And chatter, even if most of it is in her own language. Also, being pregnant, twice over. I was so, so excited to grow those babies, even if they couldn't stay with us for very long. We'll never forget them.

16. What song will always remind you of 2014? After the Storm by Mumford & Sons. Gives me hope.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

(a) Happier or Sadder? Sadder. 

(b) Thinner or Fatter? Thinner, but barely.

(c) Richer or Poorer? About the same.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I wish I'd told my hubby how amazing he is more often.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Being sad.

20. How did you spend Christmas in 2014? With close family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2014? I stayed in love, with my special ones. I'm so lucky to have them.

 

22. How many one-night stands? Loads ... with my bed and trusty pillows. :)

23. What was your favourite TV program? Game of Thrones, Homeland, Nashville, Outlander.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Nope. No hate.

25. What was the best book you read? Gosh, I read SO much this year. Favourites this year included The Night Circus, The Tournament & The Storyteller. Plus, I re-read the Outlander series; love.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? No new discoveries, just enjoying my oldies - Sarah McLachlan.

27. What did you want and get? An amazing first year with my Georgia girl. :)

28. What did you want and not get? A baby. I would have been close to 30 weeks right now, or 13 weeks. Instead, I have no pregnant belly, and two big holes in my heart. 

29. What was your favourite film of this year? Gone Girl

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? This year I turned 30. It was a great birthday; I was 8 weeks pregnant, we got to see our little jellybean via ultrasound, and I was happy.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? I wish that I could have had more good luck with the pregnancies, because I was so looking forward to a 2 year age gap. But you know what else was satisfying (and that I miss?) - thigh rolls. Nom, nom, nom.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014? Lots of maxi dresses.

33. What kept you sane? Georgia. Hubby. Family. Mum friends. Online IVF/miscarriage support groups.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Nobody off the top of my head!

35. What political issue stirred you the most? Unfortunately, I'm still let down by our government.

36. Who did you miss? I missed my Nanna; there were so many times this year where I desperately needed a hug. 

37. Who was the best new person you met? Lots of new faces in miscarriage support groups, which I'm so grateful for. Sometimes, all you need is to chat to someone who understands, who's been through it before.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014. Patience is a virtue.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. “There will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears. Get over your hill & see what you find there... with grace in your heart & flowers in your hair."

40. What are your resolutions for 2015? I want to be more positive. That's it. Positivity. 

Happy New Year, friends. I'm so sorry for this blog being such a place of disappointment and sadness, but it's been a pretty accurate representation of my heart & my mind. I'm ending the year feeling resigned, nervous but hopeful.. hopeful that 2015 will bring us the good news that we've been hanging out for.