Waiting cycles suck, there's no getting around that fact. I naively thought that it wouldn't be too bad, what with Christmas shopping and the holiday season... but no, it still sucks.

I've been keeping myself busy, but things are always lurking in the back of my mind. My specialist had me take Letrozole again this cycle, to ensure that I ovulate and have a 'regular' cycle, even though there would be no transfer at the end.... but it's CD18 and nothing is happening. Negative OPK's, low fertility on my fertility monitor, and tumbleweeds blowing around my ovaries.

I'm really quite nervous I'm becoming resistant to the Femara, like I did with the Clomid... which doesn't bode well for future FET cycles, since that's what I rely on to ovulate and do natural cycles.

We'll check out what's going on in a few days, and make the call - to trigger, if anything's there - or to Provera if it's a pointless annovulatory cycle. It's just a bit rubbish that even a freaking REST cycle seems to be kicking me in the guts.

I've had to remove myself from a few groups I've been a part of, because I'm just not in the right head space for them at the moment. I'm also chatting with someone about some coping strategies for when things get tough, because we have no idea how long this particular journey will last for. It's not a cure, but it's nice to have my feelings acknowledged.

Is it 2015 yet? C'mon already! ;)