FET #4 - Let's Get It Started

My period arrived yesterday, during a visit from a lovely lady who came bearing a chai latte and a box of maltesers - that's a good friend, right there. Funnily enough, the last time I saw her was during my first failed cycle of this year while I was also waiting for a period... and guess what came the next day? You guessed it! I think we're going to have to start calling her Aunty Flo. 

Today is CD2. This morning I started taking progynova tablets - the form of oestrogen my clinic uses for HRT FET cycles. The side effects look... fun. Breast tenderness, breast pain, abdominal pain, nausea, oedema, headache, skin rash, insomnia and depression.

Let's face it... I'd take any of those symptoms if it meant I was able to grow a healthy baby in my belly.

As I write this, I'm feeling pretty numb. I'm excited that we're off, but that's about it. These past few months have been nothing but disappointments, getting left behind over and over again. I'm hopeful, but I'm also realistic. I'm not naive enough to think that just because we're trying a new approach means that we'll get pregnant. If only it was as easy for us as it was for {seemingly} everybody else.

I haven't been as vocal about starting this new round. The support groups I've been a part of don't feel the same as they used to... and I think I'm at the point in my journey where people just don't know what to say anymore. Add that to the fact that I've been feeling so damned uncomfortable around friends who are pregnant - despite my best efforts and attempts at putting on a brave face - and I feel more alone than ever right now. I guess this time around is proving to be very much about hubby & I fumbling through together.

Here we go.