I know I said I wasn't going to pee on a stick... but yeah, I figured I'd protect myself and get it over with.

No surprises folks; it's a negative.

You'd think I wouldn't be that disappointed, since I was feeling so let down after the experience at transfer day on Monday.. but this one still hurt. Deep down, I think we all still hope for the best, for for the chance to be the 'miracle' BFP that we're always told about. It wasn't to be.

I need to get my head back in the game for yet another stim cycle, which terrifies me. All these hurdles, and then all these negatives and failures - I'm starting to doubt that we'll ever get to be parents again.

That scares me more than I can say. We love being parents, even on the hardest of days - and we have so much more to give. I want Georgia to have a sibling, someone to grow up with. I don't want her to be alone.

I just wish we had a crystal ball and could know how much more is ahead of us - to have an end in sight.

Onwards & upwards, I guess.