6 weeks + 1 day

djfshjgjskhgkj !!!! (In English: there is still a baby in there!)

Still teency, still with a tiny flickering heartbeat, still hanging around, still blowing me away.

I visited my OB on Friday, when I was 5w6d. We had a good talk about the bleeding, the anxiety that comes with it, and my fear about something going wrong - all justifiable, but we just have to take one moment, one day, one week at a time. He wanted to take a look at everything himself, and once again, he could find no reason for the blood - which he says is positive.

It was an internal ultrasound once again, and this time, we saw the sac and the baby almost immediately, even though it was small. He didn't even bother measuring it, because we'd seen it the day before & he said there was no real point, since we could leave it a week and hopefully have a lot more to see. Seeing the heartbeat was enough to help me breathe a sigh of relief.

Still beating.

He's going to scan me weekly, because he thinks that will help us to manage both a) my anxiety over something going wrong, and b) keeping an eye on growth, particularly if I do have any more bleeding. That's about all we can do at this point... and hope with everything we've got.

This is the first time we've seen a beating heart since our first miscarriage. We lost him, yes, but we had several beautiful scans, and I cherish those moments. The other losses were earlier, and we didn't even get to this point. While it's still early days, and while I'm still petrified... I'm so happy. I just really hope this is our little fighter, who can come home and join our family. We are so ready for them.